3barefeet

The Gym

2010-01-14T20:18:00.003-07:00

This is a true story written by a friend of their recent trip to the gym. No names or how I know this person will be mentioned to protect the sort of innocent & with that I say enjoy!!!

warm sunny wishes !!!

mrs. barefeet

It was your balls I noticed first. Big silver and chrome balls clanging to a stop at the back of your F350 as it straddled the last two decent parking spots near the entrance. I’ll admit an air of smugness as I strode into the gym behind you, but it was the “Hey faggot” greeting you threw your fellow gym-douche that convinced me I hate you. Not a fleeting hate like when following someone who signals to turn, then chickens out and keeps going leaving their blinker on- even though IT WAS A GODDAMN-ED ONE WAY STREET TO BEGIN WITH. No, I could tell already that this was the beginning of a true and passionate hatred that would likely take me all day to come down from.
I steeled myself for an hour in the gym together.

As I usually do, I grabbed a locker somewhere in the corner, and got dressed as quickly as possible, showing my junk to as few people as possible in the process- as is the unspoken covenant we men make when getting naked together. Common sense told me that anyone with balls on their truck is likely to strut around the damn locker room unaware of said covenant, so I avoided glances to the obvious places -out front where the mirrors are- but you tricked me Sir Douchealot. I wasn’t expecting to find you butt-naked on the scale, your veiney little legs propping up the ridiculous upper monstrosity you’ve ‘sculpted’ yourself into. Very clever, now I’m forced to look right at you to get to the gym. I stared at the ground and felt my blood boil.

From the treadmill I watched you toss enormous scraps of iron all around the gym- even with my headphones in I could hear your hulk-like grunts and cries. After about an hour of unsuccessful conversation with the hapless women trying to get in a little lunch break exercise, and having lifted everything deemed heavy in the place, your pee-like brain must’ve registered something about cardio being a good finisher and you took up station at the treadmill directly in front of me. I honestly would’ve wrapped up my day right there and hit the locker-room, but I foolishly figured you’d be on the treadmill longer. Congratulations though, you managed to pant-out two thirds of an eight minute mile.
I stood in naked horror in the shower while you carefully pinched-off one nostril at a time and directed little snot-missiles onto the shower tile. It was at that moment my seething hatred took resolve; I wouldn’t wait for karma to find your ticket and punch it. No no no, in the name of decency I owed it to humanity to extract something from you right then and there.

And that, Sir Douchalot, is why your iphone is in the urinal and there is a “I am dance music” sticker adorning the tailgate of your truck.
See you next time.

Merry Christmas & I'm FURIOUS!!!!

2009-12-17T16:00:00.002-07:00

Today Mr. Barefeet and I were out doing some shopping for a new TV. Walking through the parking lot we see a fellow( I use this term so very loosely) driving a convertible Volkswagon EOS with the top down and a TV sticking out of it. This in itself is strange...it's December in Colorado not Palm Springs. Anyhow upon reaching the entrance this same car is sort of parked in front, engine running, TV sticking out & @ CHILDREN IN THE BACK!!!! One an infant w/no shoes or socks on & the top down the other maybe 5 or 6 years old. Are you $@*^%*&#@^%&* kidding me, who does this ? Mr. Barefeet goes to see if anyone knows what is going on and I stay to check on the kids. Five minutes & several Best Buy employees & finally Daddy Douchebag comes out looking at me like I'm crazy when I ask if this is his car, Douchebag replies " Ya, why."

Really, did you just ask me why dickweed, your kids are in an open running car with no one watching them!!!!! To this he says he just donated $200,000 to charity....oh my bad that makes being an asshole okay then. As he gets in his car & I throw profanities at him & inform him that he is not a good dad and charity should begin at home, He says I'm a bitch (never heard that before) and I punch the car...things like this make me a bit crazy, what can I say.

The morale of this story is people suck, having money doesn't make you exempt from being a human & giving to charity doesn't make you good. Also, if you have $200,000 to donate to charity I doubt you drive a red convertible EOS, drag your kids to Bestbuy instead of leaving them with the nanny and brag about your donations...you're simply a douche!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

thanks for reading my rant :)

warm sunny wishes

mrs. barefeet

When I grow up

2009-11-28T23:28:00.004-07:00

Secretly I think Mr.Barefeet was sad that his son's first jersey wasn't that of his alma mater, University of Colorado Buffaloes or that of his family The Ohio State University, they have a brick at the stadium you know. But how can you argue with a little boy that wants to be like Tebow.

Feeling Thankful

2009-11-25T20:30:00.002-07:00

So I know it's sort of cleshay to say what you are thankful for on Thanksgiving, but I like chesse & cleshayness every now & again. I have never done a list like this but I feel like I have a lot to be thankful for every year but especially this year and want to put it out there. Here it goes in no special order some of the things I'm thankful for....Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!

my adoring husband & our son...they have given me a life I could never have dreamed of.
my health & the health of those dear to me
our home...it's in the midst of remodel still but coming along
our friends & family
mr. barefeet's hard work this year at his job...it was rough for a while like so many but he never quit.
our animals & my sweet baby girl, Makena's kisses. no idea her tongue is as big as my head
the way lil barefeet says " I love you forever,mommy. You are my best friend"
my acceptance of myself & my quirks...one bonus of getting older
mr. barefeet and my relationship...some things one would never imagine have happened to us this last year but through them we have realized how special our love is and gained renewed & new friendships
coffee
the perfect gin & tonic
flip flops
the ability to laugh, not just at others but myself
snow...never thought I would put that down but lil barefeet's face lights up when the snow falls
clarisonic
my charm bracelet, memories everytime I look at it
red velvet cupcakes
the men & women that put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms both at home and abroad
the Elvis channel on satellite radio
reality TV
Jack Bauer
mexican food
my bob haircut
chillin frozen yogurt
the blessing of knowing what is most important in my life
Criminal Minds
the discovery of hummus
being able to make a difference
little giraffe blankets
for being an american women
internet shopping & my UPS man
the ability to give back
for all the experiences in my life good & bad that have led me to who/where I am today.
for those of you that have decided to take this journey with me...I feel blessed everyday with the friendships that have been made over a computer, crazy yes- possible completely.

warm sunny wishes this holiday season!

mrs.barefeet

Santa's coming!!!

2009-11-10T20:07:00.002-07:00

I read about this fantastic idea on The Trailer Trash Queen's blog & thought it would be a whole lotta fun and wanted to share. It's an ornament exchange brought to you by PamperingBeki . Please stop by for all the details & sign up...Happy Holidays are here !

warm sunny wishes !

Hilary and her new shoes

2009-11-03T19:44:00.004-07:00

This morning I took Hilary to get new shoes, expensive fabulous shoes ! Who's Hilary you ask...Hilary is my SUV, she is a Hummer and she is Fantastic. (now talk among yourselves and laugh at the irony Hilary,Hummer . Yes I'm referring to the Clinton scandal)

Before you judge too much, no I'm not a middle age balding man trying to compensate for a small penis by driving a Hummer and I'm not trying to ruin the environment...I recycle, I bring my bags to the grocery store, we use windsource for our electricity, and Hilary is American made! I might be a bit defensive but she's truly wonderful. From the moment I first saw her I felt as if Hilary was made just for me. Although people can barely see me over the steering wheel, I'm 5'2", Hilary and I are perfect for each other.

Back to Hilary's new shoes, they may not be Christian Louboutin's but they are BF Goodrich's in a beautiful matte black nubby rubber, they give her a bounce in her step, elongate her legs, and give her a new found confidence that we women understand...nothing feels as good as the perfect shoe. Tomorrow to complete Hilary's new look we head to the car wash I mean spa, body polish, mani/pedi & massage.

Look out for the shiny,more confident Hilary...she'll be unstoppable!!!

warm sunny wishes !!!

BA da BING...I'm in love

2009-11-02T10:08:00.007-07:00

My new love.... bing.com ! I'm sure you have all seen the crazy commericals on TV for bing, the cure for search overload syndrome. But they offer so much more, and with the holidays right around the corner I thought I would share. Bing offers shopping with a cashback reward, FABULOUS !!! I recently discovered bing while searching for a coupon to use on a drugstore.com purchase. Bing has a cashback reward percentage at thousands of stores. The percentage varies from store to store with occasional special offers thrown in and sometimes free shipping. You get paid to shop for items you would be buying anyways and you can still use any store coupons you have on the order.

What's the catch you ask...the only one I found is you must wait 60 days for your reward to ensure there hasn't been any orders canceled or returned. Then bing will send you your reward via check,transfer or paypal. If you do encounter any problems I have had super service from the customer service agents, helpful, quick & best of nice!

Now to get started you simply go to bing.com sign up for cashback and MOST IMPORTANT shop through the bing site and I must say they have some amazing stores that we all use from low to high end, bing is a must and I'm in love!

Happy shopping !

warm sunny wishes !

*** this is my personal opinion & experience with bing.com . I was not compensated in any way for this review...blah blah blah :)

Merry Halloween !!!

2009-10-28T15:28:00.015-06:00

As I write this it is snowing outside, not just a bit but a full on dumper! About 16 inches so far, turning thoughts from halloween to Christmas. I'm glad I took some pictures of our halloween decor yesterday because today it's buried in snow.

I love halloween, always have. Since being married and having little barefeet, as with all holidays, it has more meaning and importance. It begins every year for us at the pumpkin festival picking an oversized wagon full of perfect pumpkins add some corn stocks and straw bales and you have what will become

the barefeet haunted pumpkin patch.

Little barefeet loves scary halloween decorations so as he has got older we are adding some more things that are gruesome, this year blood splatters and bloody hand prints. If he had his way we would leave the halloween store with all the animated scary movie characters we could fit in the SUV. We unpack the crates of decorations and supplies, lay it all out and spend the next day & a half decorating. Hope you have a safe and bootacular halloween, I must now start planning for Christmas!

the world through 4 year old eyes

2009-10-22T21:23:00.006-06:00

So I really had to share this...I found it so unbelievably cute and insightful. Today was donuts with daddy at lil barefeet's school. They shared donuts,playtime, making ties and a questionnaire that all the kids answered with questions about daddy. Below is lil barefeet's questions & answers, along with some insight from me. Hope you enjoy it !!!

My daddy is 26 years old...he's not

His hair color is black...it's blonde

He weighs 25 lbs & is 65 feet tall...you can figure this one out

He loves to cook hot dogs...well sausage

His favorite chore is to work in the backyard...not fav just what we've been doing

His favorite TV show is football...YES

It makes me happy when he makes money...lil barefeet is a capitalist

Daddy always tells me to behave...at least he hears it

Daddy likes to wear hockey clothes...plays hockey,goalie, only time he wears them

When my daddy shops, he loves to buy shrimp...???

I really love it when my daddy builds trampolines

I'mma let you finished but 3barefeet has one of the best new blogs

2009-10-21T20:25:00.012-06:00

Sorry, I simply couldn't resist the title. As most of you can see my blog is very new and I'm really enjoying getting my legs under me. I'm still trying to figure everything out direction,frequency and what happens....I get nominated for an award from MintJulepsandMagnolias, the "Your Blog is over the Top"award...GO ME!!! Seriously thank you! To those of you that have stopped by and said hello, thank you. Getting to know you girls via blogs and twitter has been fantastic, an amazing and supportive sisterhood. I again thank you and I'm honored to be welcomed into this fabulous group of ladies !!! With that said they are some rules that must be followed with this award I must answer each question with one word and tag 6 friends to also receive the award.

Ready, set, GO !

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your hair? blonde
3. Your mother?supportive
4. Your father? absent
5. Your favorite food? passionfruit
6. Your dream last night? bizarre
7. Your favorite drink? gin
8. Your dream/goal? success
9. What room are you in? family
10. Your hobby? design
11. Your fear? failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? love
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? fearless
15. Muffins? pumpkin
16. Wish list item? pearls

17. Where did you grow up? California
18. Last thing you did? cook
19. What are you wearing? pj's
20. Your TV? LCD
21. Your pets? royalty
22. Friends? loved
23. Your life? happy
24. Your mood? varies
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? H2, don't judge ;)
27. Something you’re not wearing? make-up
28. Your favorite store? jcrew

29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? tonight
31. Last time you cried? tuesday

32. Your best friend? missed
33. One place that I go to over and over? crazy
34. One person who emails me regularly? hubby
35. Favorite place to eat? mamasfishhouse

I pass the baton to

pinkcashmerecardigan

jimaiemarie

makeupbytricia

justonechicmommy

preppypinkcrab

some like it hot

warm sunny wishes !

pumpkins & pictures

2009-10-17T19:24:00.012-06:00

Today was the annual pumpkin festival near our home.

It's always fantastic for pictures,crazy parents, and of course pumpkins. I could do a huge post on inappropriate behavior and attire.

However,I decided to just share some of our memories.

Yes, we have a lot of pumpkins...believe it or not this isn't all of them.

We(I) tend to enjoy decorating for holidays and events in general and will definitely have an upcoming post when the decorating is complete this week.

But for now we rest...picking the perfect pumpkins is exhausting!!

warm sunny wishes!

September 21st, the weather, my birthday & their cruel relationship...you'll need a coat

2009-09-21T09:48:00.010-06:00

Alrighty, it is September 21st, the last day of summer...HA not funny! Is this a joke, does someone get pleasure in making this day anything but summer, does the last day of summer say parka & Sorels to you ?

I know...or at least try to believe, that mother nature doesn't have it out for me but this is ridiculous. I grew up in California, warm sunny California & now live in Colorado,more than 300 days of sunshine a year. Sounds great right...But for some reason September 21st rain, snow, wind, cold. I need sun, warm golden sun, sitting out on the patio for every meal kind of weather. Not everyday but this day, It's my birthday and that's my wish. I have learned to love Colorado, the seasons & the snow ie: snowboarding but this September 21st thing is making me crazy. A huge majority of these dates have been spent in a parka...the exception September 21st, 2000 the birthday I met my hubby, Mr. barefeet.

So on this September 21st, another windy,cold, rainy with a chance of snow birthday I remember the birthday that I didn't wear a parka & say Happy Birthday to me !

mr.barefeet & lilbarefeet

warm sunny wishes!

testing testing...123

2009-09-06T21:30:00.002-06:00

Here we go...who is going to go on this unscripted journey with me. This is what I can tell you it will be colorful, sometimes opinionated, but always honest & with humor, that's how we live...barefeet!